Xmas

Here I am, in my new blog. I'm aware that it's not yet finished, but I'm working on getting it "launched" soon - just needed the platform already. Here's the text that I wrote to re-activate my old one from 1½ years of hybernation:

"
It's me. I find myself back here, typing after a long time. Mid watching Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker I couldn't help myself and suddenly think about this abyss that I've pushed myself in, the thoughts kept peeking in and out - I didn't want to help myself, I gave in. It felt right, extremely right. What if I'd just freeze all my social medias (twitter, instagram, facebook) and just combine it all in here?  I haven't found joy in following particularly anyone for some months, honestly it feels really weird sometimes when I think about it...  I might not talk to someone for weeks, months or maybe even years, yet we know roughly how each other is doing (depending how much we share on the platform(s) of course).

My partner isn't on social media. Yeap. I haven't found it particularly weird, but it was definitely different than usual - as one would guess in today's day and age, especially to me that basically had been on some for 10 years. It opened up a world to me of what it is like to not actually be on any of 'em, and I found it quite fascinating. Obviously I've enjoyed using the stuff that I've been (I am?) using, but they haven't been perfect along the way. I seemed to miss my friends and after years gave in to instagram, yet I needed to make a project (365) to even get it started - and since it wasn't meant to last forever it didn't. I ended up fading this blog for reasons that I can see related to that (but were also much bigger). Twitter is my favorite (and oldest) of the bunch, but it's still been bugging me surprisingly lot lately. Facebook I've already deleted once and didn't actually miss it - was talked back into it on trade school and since then I've just been more or less of a ghost in there. Yet I like blogging, why did I stop it?

I guess I'm here to try again.


I've spent my Christmas with my brother, on 24th, playing board games, cooking a nice warm meal and watching a crappy Christmas movie and he surprised me with steelbook version of Control so we also tested that out (gotta say, Ahti is one hell of a masterpiece, jumalauta). Overall it was a pleasant day. Did start it by having a relaxing shower and washing laundry - 'cause that's what one does when they're grateful of a washing machine at home. I blankly decided that Christmas is going to be about being thankful from now on, otherwise I'm going to lose my head with it.


Today I went to my parents, which was, briefly said, odd after not being there last year. Luckily Catan's new expansion kept me occupied and we did have the Star Wars to look foward to - and even after messing up with the transport times; travel home went smoothly. Maybe the number 13 saved me. At home I had my absolutely adorable hyper rats waiting for me, and I keep noticing myself having an actual baby-voice when I mumble to 'em a lot. "Hiiiii~ How have my long boys been?" But they're so adorable I could burst.

I understand that it's selfish to hope someone to stick around, in life, yet I still find myself doing it over the phone and in my head. I guess I'm weirdly flawed.



25th Dec 19, ~4am"


Note: Check-in for the yearly New Years thingy after the year changes.
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