I've found myself taking long walks, been discovering different new paths that I can take while listening to audiobooks with one ear piece in. I started making the walks longer, when I found out that one of my absolute favorite poetry books is in an audio format, and I wanted to listen the whole thing in one go - ended up being nearly 8km, and it felt amazing to combine the two. The weather has been perfect the past two days (around 15°C), and I've just wanted to continue. I also finally abandoned my lighter beanie from the past winter. The spring is indeed here now, yesterday I felt like my whole being was covered with dust mid-walk - I doubt my throat appreciated it but oh well.

My social media re-newing has gone well, it's starting to settle down. I've internalized that fidgeting with social medias are actually habits like any other, and the effects of wanting to quit some which you've been tapping even out of boredom is actually an interesting journey. I had already uninstalled 'em from my phone, but they were still haunting me on the background and through the browser on PC. I thought about the reasons why I went to certain platforms, and even when leaving it might feel like I wasted time.. Do I wish to continue to waste more of my time years into the future? I could leave my  phone alone whenever I wanted to, but I could also be spending my time way better, and it'd also allow me to focus better on the ones that I actually enjoy using. The answer was simple, and a hard mode of the re-newing started.

I've also had the courage to take more steps forward with an important part of my surroundings: my home. It's always been roughly the kind of place I wish it to be, with color scheme and lighting for example, but like with my thoughts I've had troubles with the timeline. I've hold on to stuff that isn't relevant anymore: I've been afraid I didn't get "my money's worth" from a book I purchased years ago but never got further than couple pages in, stuff that people gave to me but I had no use for, odd stuff that I had strong connections to and stuff like that. I had silently surrounded myself with little pieces of demanding, guilt and unwanted reminders.

This flat was lookin' more like me in comparison to the old one immediately when I moved in, I heard from a friend, and I admit it motivated me to look even more deep into myself and think "Why is that?", "How can I make it more like this?", "What would the ideal flat of current Kettu be like, if I'd have no restrictions at all, to paint the picture?". My TV ended up being mounted to the wall with this perfect bit that allows me to move it, and together with the wider bed I finally allowed myself to buy last year they've formed an amazingly comfortable back piece to my apartment: it's airy and open when not in use, but absolutely dynamic when in use. My dual monitors are alive, the mechanical keyboard brings a nice tune to it all. I've unloaded my book shelves so much within' the past year to three years, that it seems like I'm going to end up with only one stand instead. The negative space is appreciated in a whole new level, and all that's left is going to be a perfection that would be ruined if one more piece would be removed. Not to mention the e-reader I went to pick up two weeks ago has improved my relationship on the mornings, when I can just chill and read next to my still sleeping partner.

When I go outside I'm paying attention to the birds around me, how often I spot common blackbirds and even common pheasants in this area. When I'm inside I love that I've learned to know when a rat is yawning, bruxing or boggling just by ear, and they seem to be acknowledging me in a whole new level when I'm leaving, coming home or just calling for 'em. The microwave seems to be their favorite puzzle, to know when it's porridge time and when it's just me getting something to eat, and I can tell you they're getting pretty good at it.

BTW Streets of Rage 4 is live, my May Day night turned out amazing with it.
© 2019-2020 Kettu Saarinen. All rights reserved.